When in Paris 🇫🇷

Was waiting for this moment for so long. Finally to have inspiration to write again. And here we go, another travel blog.

But before that, I want to give a kind of a prehistory of my attitude towards Paris. I never liked it. When in school, all the girls had notebooks, bags, tops with Paris, Eiffel tower etc. The favorite city to visit was almost always Paris. I never understood what is so special about it, why it is the city of love and bla bla bla. And I never wanted and even thought about going to Paris. But then suddenly I realized that my opinion was wrong, because I was judging sth without getting acquainted with it, without seeing or feeling it. I wanted to see it just to solve the mystery that came from childhood, why is it “the best city”. And the occasion came round, we went to Paris. And now I can say, I love it, I really do. Still I won’t say that it’s the best city, it’s a typical European city, with beautiful buildings, great architecture, nice atmosphere. It has some romantic vibes, but for me it wasn’t the feeling of love, but the feeling of oldness, the vintage, the imagination of old times, described in so many great novels. I was right there, in the present, but I was seeing and feeling the past. I adored the old town part of the city, the Cathedral of Notre-Dame, especially after reading Hugo, I literally was imagining everything that happened in the book, happening there. The small bridges, the river, old cafes, bookshops, everything. The same with Louvre but this time thinking about “Da Vinci Code” and Grail, whether it’s there, under the pyramid or not. Yes, I know that it’s a fiction, but still, I’m a weirdo, believing every great thing I read. But let’s go back to Paris. You can say for sure that it’s a royal city. Almost every second building, museums, cathedrals, churches were so magnificent. People in the past had great taste, not like now, the same square buildings everywhere. 2 things that made me love Paris even more were the weather and the absence of crowds. The weather was cloudy and rainy, and yes it is inconvenient to walk with umbrellas, and it’s cold but whatever. When I imagine the past, I think about cloudy gloomy weather, just like the ancient times, like the gothic architecture, they’re all so connected with each other. And that’s what I enjoyed. The movie I had in my head all the way through Paris was perfect, with its little but beautiful nuances. Now about crowds. If you know me, you’ll know, that I’m not the big lover of people and society (no offense), and I hate crowded places. When there are lots of people in one place, it makes me feel uncomfortable and kinda anxious. But also people don’t let me feel the place, get the vibes, feel the energy and just enjoy it. So it was an amazing advantage for me.

Now moving on to a little controversial part of my story. The Eiffel Tower. I didn’t like it. Maybe because it was the only place with lots of people. But no, I just didn’t like it. Yeah it’s nice, especially at night, but it’s still a metallic something standing there like “hey”. For me personally it isn’t the symbol of the city. The meaning of the city for me is its antiquity and history, the small roads, streets, houses, little cathedrals, bridges and everything else. But not the Eiffel. Sorry, Eiffel. The next thing. Arch of Triumph. It was beautiful, but it wasn’t like woow, that’s a masterpiece. Just an arch. Like the one in Italy, or Portugal or other places. As we were talking about it, it’s just an arch with a great PR agent, thanks to Remarque.

From this trip, the two things that I can advise you are: never judge something or someone without trying/seeing/getting acquainted with it or them. And the second one. When visiting Paris, don’t only go to it “must see” places. Walk around the streets, go here and there, find cute vintage cafes and shops, find little statues or cathedrals. Only then you can really feel the city. And eat croissants and macarons. I just couldn’t not mention food, could I?

P.s. Yep, God is making fun of me. I was just downloading all the photos here at the same time, and the first one it downloads is the one with Eiffel tower, and I’m like, great irony! 😂



Adventure seeker 📍

Another blog of self-observation and perception, trying to find, or re-find who I am, or who I was before the world told me who I should be.

Adventure seeker, adventurous heart, you’ve definitely heard these expressions before. Someone, who seeks for adventures, fun, new experiences, who doesn’t sit in one place. Maybe for some people it’d be hard to believe, but I am that kind of a person, and I’ve always been. I remember when I was a child, all the girls were playing dolls and princesses, were dreaming of prince charming. I also played dolls, won’t deny, but I also adored wars, cars, weapons. I was playing spies, pirates, thieves, warriors and stuff like that, with my toy knives, guns bow and arrows. And since that I haven’t changed, except I don’t play anymore, though I should admit that I still have a gun, and I like to shoot. But I’ve always imagined the perfect world full of adventures, and wish that my life would be like in the movies or books. I’ve always tried to create my own adventures in this mortal world. To explore, have fun, see, find and try everything new( except for food, I am a little picky in that area). I love the feeling of risk and adrenaline, the fear of being caught when doing sth you shouldn’t. And I’ve always managed somehow to create this fun for me. But for the last few years, my adventurous life’s been kind of on pause. Because I’m a “grown up” now, all I should do is think of my career and marriage and make-up and clothes. But that’s not who I was my whole life. Or who I dreamed to be. Maybe that’s why university became the prison of my heart and souls, because I can’t just sit and listen to the lessons that I will never need. And see how the life goes by and waves at me. I know I am dramatizing a little now, but we all love exaggerations . And I know that it’s still my decisions, no one forced me, but yet I feel forced sometimes. To waste my life at things that I don’t like. I don’t say that my life is boring or that I don’t have fun, no that would be a big lie. It’s just that I don’t only want to have the memories of going to this and that cafe, or birthdays. And I don’t want to live from weekend to weekend, from holiday to holiday, when I can be more free. I just want more.

And now, rewatching Sherlock, POTC, and Narnia I get so envious. I know that they’re fantasy movies, and nothing like that exists, but I know that there are lots of people who literally live their dreams. And I would so love to be one of those people. And maybe all of my problems come from it. The clash of my dreams, my imagination and reality. Of my adventurous soul and the “me”, who has to do some things that doesn’t want to. I know that it mostly depends on me, who I am, and what I want to do, but sometimes under different circumstances you can loose yourself, your priorities and dreams. But the most essential is that you finally understand what’s right and wrong for you, and decide to change.

That’s why I love these self-observation posts. They help me to understand myself more and to improve myself. I’ve always been an explorer and a wanderlust. For a while I made wrong decisions and appeared there where I am now. I don’t complain, I know everything happens for a reason, and in this case, the reason was really good, it was the most important lesson of understanding life, people and me better, of growing spiritually . But now I also understand that I change myself to the person I’ve always been. To enjoy my every single day, my life, my youth. To gain amazing memories, to feel that adrenaline and risk, the beating heart of excitement and fun. To have the adventures that I want to and always dreamed of. And the most important to be in harmony with my real self and get happier and happier with every new day.

Birthday Harmony 🎈

Starting the blogs of 2018 with great positivity. So first of all, happy new year 🎊. And second of all, it’s my birthday yaay 🎈

I really don’t know why I am writing this now, because I don’t have much to say. I just want to make this birthday mood and vibes remembered. This year was probably the first year, when I didn’t want my birthday to end.I am literally getting upset when I look at the clock and I see the last minutes of this day passing by. I mean I still had some great ones, but I don’t know why, this one feels somehow special. Maybe because I wasn’t in a hurry, or thoughts and usual birthday stress, what to wear, how to celebrate it, with whom and bla bla bla. I felt harmony and peace in my soul. I didn’t connect my birthday with some external stuff, it’s just a great day for my heart and soul. And I just let everything happen the way it supposed to. I wasn’t waiting for anyone to congratulate me at midnight, and wasn’t thinking about who congratulated me or not. It’s my day. I was born on this day. I was lucky enough to live through my birthday 21 times. And I know that the universe is open for me today. I mean it’s open every day, but today I have that special kind of connection with it. That’s why wishes are so important this day. With wishes or affirmations, you can change your life on your birthday. But first of all you have to be grateful, yes again grateful. And I am. I am really lucky to have the people around me, who can spend this day with me, or can congratulate me and I know that it’s sincere. And I am eternally grateful for all of these, my life, my people, the chance of waking up every day and do something, change something, and for so much more.

Once again, I write this to remember this good day, which sadly just came to its end. But I’m sure that things will be good from this day, and will get better with every next birthday of mine.

And yes, I’m 21, but I still had lots of balloons, a few of which I bought for myself because why not 🤩

The Grand Finale of 2017 🔚

Here it is. My last blog of the year. Am I the only one who thinks that time flies equally fast and slowly? Like when I remember a day, it seems both like it was hundred years ago and only yesterday. I don’t think I wrote it right, but whatever. I wanted to summarize this year somehow. 2017 was I reckon one the best years. But to tell the truth, I say this to every year. But before I start, I want to say sth else, really quickly. Some people, or unfortunately most people nowadays hate their every year. Every year when they look back they say that it was horrible. And with that thoughts they enter the new year, with the “hope” of having a better one. I mean, one year is a great period of your lives. You have lived that year, you have at least some good memories for sure, so why not remember them instead of the general complaints? When I remember my last year, I try to focus only on the good things that happened to me. And when I say that 2017 was the best year of my life, it doesn’t mean that it only consisted of golden waterfalls, ponies and chocolate castles, definitely no. But there were still lots of memorable things to remember and appreciate. I have a notebook, where I write all the good things that happen to me with the date, whether it’s a meeting with a friend, shopping day with mom, a cozy movie night, whatever. And I was reading the dates of this year the other day, and I was kinda surprised that I had lots of great days, that I didn’t even remember. And I realized how people mistake everything, their lives and memories. Instead of good ones they always choose the bad ones. But again it’s a choice to make for everyone, we can always change our attitude and life will get better.

So 2017. As I said, a great one for me. Not only great because of all the fun, and good days and adventures, but also because of the bad days and problems and difficulties. I’ve changed and grown up so much this year, that I think I haven’t done for a great while. You can’t develop if you don’t have any problems. But through my big or small difficulties and problems, I discovered my true self, I started to think more of myself and my interests, I started to be much more honest both with other people and with myself. I started to say what I really think, started to protest when I didn’t like something or didn’t want to do sth. For me, it’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Maybe for others I changed for the worse, but I don’t care. Only I know me completely and sincerely, and only I can feel what’s been good or bad for me. I really hope, that people understand that what I do and say is not against them, it’s just the best for me at this moment.

That’s what I wanted to say, when I said that the year doesn’t have to be the perfect to be a great one. Even though I mention that I had problems, I still say that this year was super successful for me. And btw, the problems were mostly psychological and mental, but they are the worst, aren’t they? May and June were the worst, but that’s when I grew up for 10 years in 2 months. Like literally, every week I was looking back at myself and saying, wow I changed so much. And that was the best prize that I could get from life. Feeling yourself more mature and more understanding every new day. But the best thing was that through time, and maybe a little long time, I started not to care. To say sth without being afraid of the response. I tried, and still trying to live life today, and not with the thoughts about yesterday or the worries about tomorrow. No wait, besides not caring there’s another great prize. They are closely connected. And that is being free. When you “solve” one of your life problems, you feel free. Free from society, from the rules, from stupid “what if”-s, but the most important, free from your own worries and fears and your bad side that always makes up a whole tragedy from nothing.

I can’t say that I changed completely or that now I am the most mature person or sth like that, because if there is no progress, it means you’re dead. Or just stupid. I mean I still have lots and lots of things to change about myself, to improve, to learn. And for all the previously mentioned things, I changed them, but it doesn’t mean that now I am like that for 100%. I mean there are still some cases when I am not completely sincere, or still worry about some bullshit. And even if things are not perfect now, I’m sure they’ll be some day. And to that day, I’ll learn all my lessons, pass my exams, maybe fail sometimes, but still, I will walk through the way of life and pick the best for my inner self. And with this positive note, I really want to thank everyone and everything in this year. All the fun, adventures, happy days were perfection for me, and the bad things were really important and enlightening. It’s only a year, but I wouldn’t be the person that I am now without any of these, even little bad things, so I would never change any of them. Appreciate everything that goes on in your life. That’s your memories, that’s your choices, and that is you yourselves. Don’t abandon the small parts of your existence, it will cause the most problems. Be grateful, accept everything and be happy in this new year. 2018, I’m looking forward 🔜

The Concept of Christmas 🎄

Another year, another Christmas blog, it couldn’t be otherwise, cause it’s me, the Elf adoring this holiday. Yet, I still hate starting the blogs, because there are so many things I want to write, and I can’t decide how to start. Okay, let’s start with a little beautiful description. Christmas. Indeed the most wonderful time of the year. I love every single thing about it, the lights, festive decorations, songs, movies, food ofc, etc. But most of all I adore the feeling of magic and miracle. Yes, a 20 year old person still believes in magic, and seeks for miracles in life. And I couldn’t be more proud of that. Though the concept of miracle is a little misunderstood. Even the true skeptics still wait for some miracles. They want a miracle to happen and change their lives for the best. They think that this “miracle thing” will be a wave of a magic wand, and then they will live happily ever after. Nope, my dears, life doesn’t work like that. You don’t wait for miracles to happen, you create those miracles yourself. You make your every single day be great by changing your lifestyle, worldview and attitude. This changes everything. Everyone has difficulties in their lives. Everyone has problems. Even the Elves like me. But these problems or complications must not prevent you from being happy, or believing, cause both these things come from within, and are connected with nothing but your way of thinking and appreciation of everything. I talk so much about things like this, that I’m not even sure whether I already wrote this or not. Anyway, it will never be much to write or talk about, because people always need to be reminded of that.

What was the blog initially about? Yeah right, Christmas. One good advice from me. If you want to cheer yourself up and feel the spirit and magic of Christmas, just watch some old good movies. Or listen to old songs, by Frank Sinatra, the genius of Christmas in my opinion. I don’t know why this time of the year makes me feel and appreciated the oldness more than ever. Maybe its the effect of all these movies and books and songs. Maybe because it’s the warmest holiday season, and unfortunately you can’t feel the same warmth now, as it was years ago. The whole idea of Christmas is spoiled, well at least in my country. Now it’s the holiday of credits for the “greatest table”, food and maybe presents. But it’s not what Christmas is about. It’s about love, and warmness and happiness and hope for everything good. It’s about spending so much time with your closest ones as you can. It’s decorating trees, getting into the spirit, having little fresh walks in the decorated city, maybe trying to find the perfect gift for your friends and family, and getting excited from the thought of that one, even small perfect present that you’ve found. It’s about magic and miracles. And by the way, by saying magic and miracles, I mean all the things written above, because they truly are the magic moments of our lives. That’s what I want to say. Just try to remember what Christmas is really about. Watching the old films will help you with that. It’s not about having everything and being the best, it’s about spreading love, and making everything warm and cozy, and of course never loosing your hope and belief of life. Be the miracle of your lives, do good for yourselves and your closest ones. Give and share kindness. Remember, no one canceled the law of boomerang. Goodness will bring more goodness. Don’t be assholes and expect sth good to happen to you, it never will. Think about the bad things you do, the nasty things you say, the bad attitude towards other people, and you still wonder why bad things happen to you? Just be good, and appreciate everything you have. And remember, Santa’s watching you, don’t make him judge you. “You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake”. And our Santa is the same effect of boomerang. 🎅🏻

p.s. I swear, when I started to write the lyrics of the song (shame on you if you don’t know which song was this), it started to play in my headphones 😂

Portuguese Memories 🇵🇹

To any of you, who ask me how was your trip, and I only answer “it was good” because I can’t explain myself verbally that good. This long blog is the answer to all your questions. Enjoy!

You know God really loved one nation because of the wonderful nature and positive and great atmosphere that they have. Such case is Portugal. They say that beautiful souls don’t live in ugly vessels. And this is soo true and not only for people. Bad people can’t have such a powerful country. By saying powerful I don’t mean strong or rich or anything, I mean the powerful energy the country has.

Though most of the days I spent in Portugal were cloudy and windy, it couldn’t stop the country from shining. You know I don’t only pay attention to beautiful buildings and statues, though I love them a lot. I pay attention to the atmosphere and aura of the place. And in Lisbon it was so calm, so peaceful and bright even on a gloomy day. That was the first thing I noticed about it, its bright aura, which makes you love the city automatically. I don’t want to be repetitive and praise all the magnificent colorful buildings, wide streets etc, because I think my love for them is very distinctive. The second thing I noticed about Lisbon, is that it looks like a cartoon. And not any cartoon, but a specific one. “Kiki’s delivery service”. And it’s not even that I loved that cartoon much, I feel relaxed watching it, because it’s a beautiful cartoon with a cozy little city on the sea bay, with little streets and crossroads, colorful trams. The same is Lisbon, and it makes me love it even more, because suddenly I feel like in that kind and nice cartoon. So if you love it, you’re definitely gonna love Lisbon. The feeling of little and coziness and peace is so important for me. I’m not a metropolis kind of a person, I don’t feel comfortable or safe in big cities. So Lisbon was perfect. I think I could easily live there because everything is so friendly and warm. By the way, there weren’t too much people in there, which is a huuge advantage for me, let’s say not a very sociable person. Unfortunately I didn’t feel like it was my motherland, though I’d love to have that feeling, like the one I had in Austria. But still it was the place I could live happily ever after. There was another city we visited called Sintra. The same I said about Lisbon I will say about this city. It was a city in the forest, as our guide would say, along with the world “earthquake”, which I swear he said thousand times in one day. The whole city was mysterious and people thought there was definitely something magical or mystical in there some years ago. There was also an antique house in Sintra, which was considered as a witch’s house. Can you imagine my excitement? I decided to move there, so I have a question for you. Does any of you need a kidney? Cause I might be selling some to move to there…Just kidding,,or not? 😈

The nature of Portugal should be a whole other chapter. You know when you have a whole day of tour and you walk a lot, and climb a lot, you gotta be tired at the end of the day. But the energy of the nature was so great and powerful, that we all didn’t feel tired at all. Indeed we felt more energetic than ever. That’s one thing I really value in people. They don’t touch their nature. They don’t build thousands of restaurants or hotels in there, they don’t cut the trees, everything remains the same and they always take care of their great forests, despite of being a poor country. There was a huge place that the masons built years ago, and a house of alchemist that used to live there. I am obsessed with all this kind of things, so I could stay there for days, examining every stone and every little tower or chapel, and hoping that something mysterious would happen with me.

And the most memorable part. We went to the world’s end. Actually it was Europe’s end, it just sounds better as the world’s end, like in POTC. It was the place where Europe ends and on the other side was America, which sadly wasn’t seen. And of course the ocean, with its powerful waves. And again I can’t not praise the perfection of nature. I really could stare at every single wave of the ocean sitting on the rocks of the cliffs. When I look at such a masterpiece, everything else feels not important. Every bad thing suddenly fades away and you can only think of greater and higher things than all these mortal problems. The waves hitting the cliff with all their strength but so peacefully. It’s still the most fascinating combination that sea or ocean has. The power and calmness and peace at the same time. And it was almost sunset, which made everything more beautiful and outstanding. I was expecting to see the green flash when the sun went down, which of course didn’t happen, and I probably need to watch less fantasy movies and mixing them with reality. Anyway the ocean was more than great and overwhelming, I just don’t have the rights words to describe it.

It feels like I’ve never written any longer blogs, I think this one breaks all the records. But still I could write more and more, describing every single street and tree of that country. I’m a weird person, I know that and I totally accept it. But hold on, there are still photos, so if there is a person who still reads this and hasn’t turned it off since the beginning, enjoy the memories of my lovely Portugal 🇵🇹 💛

Time Switched off 💆🏼

What is the best time of the day? I can’t say for everyone, but for me it is the time spent with my own self. In this crazy life we all need time to distress and recharge if we can say so. In the old times (and again I am talking as a 70 years old grandma) people used to spend their spare time more fun and efficient for themselves. Now with all the technology with the easy access in your hands, you can’t really switch off and go offline. I remember how many years ago, I was spending evenings reading books, drawing, listening to music, dancing etc. It’s not that I don’t do these things anymore but I don’t do them as often as I’d want to. Now people spend most of their times online, reading news and stupid rumors, watching other people’s photos and posts, videos and other stuff like that. We think that we had a time off and we were resting. And then wonder why are we always tired and stressed out. Why we get more tired during the weekend. Because the whole time spent online isn’t relaxing or beneficial for both our bodies and minds. I realized the absurd of my life only yesterday when I turned off my phone and just have the me time. And now I really would like to share some inspiration on how to distress and have some time for yourselves.

1. Your own corner. Create it, make it comfortable, calm and cozy. Light some candles, put fairy-lights, it’s not only a Christmas thing. Decorate it however you want, keep some plants or gemstones. The most essential part of the relax time is the atmosphere that you create. When you have your tidy peaceful little corner you automatically feel calm and ready to recharge your energy.

2. Be offline. Not only just mute your phones or tablets, turn everything off, the wifi, 3g, everything. When you constantly get notifications or messages you get tempted to look at your phone for only a second, which obviously lasts longer than the Hobbit movies all together. You can put some music on or even a meditation or nature melodies to calm your thoughts or nerves.

3. All by yourself. And now the best part- the relax time itself. Do whatever you like, whatever you have wanted to do for a long time but never had a chance to make it. Start a diary, draw something, play music, do scrapbooking, look through some magazines or old photos, take a bath, do some cleanup in your drawers. Just lie down and dream. Imagine the best and even unrealistic things that could have happened to you, imagine the perfect and magical life that you want to have. They say that dreams are dangerous. They often come true. Work on yourself. Learn a new language, do workouts, dance, try to make your intuition better, meditate, write down or repeat some great affirmations about what you want to improve or have or get rid of. Or just go for a short walk in the neighborhood to clean your mind and breathe fresh air.

And my favorite part. Read a book. The best way to escape every day problems and thoughts or just life. If you read before sleep you will calm your thoughts, and you will only think of a book, forgetting all the bullshit that you usually think of before sleeping. I don’t want to write about reading and books too much, because if I start, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop.

I think it’s everything that I wanted to share. I know that I didn’t open an America or invented a bicycle, but sometimes we all forget the simple truth or just have the lack of motivation to do the things we already knew. Always think of your mind and your body first. If we won’t take care of ourselves, who will? Recharge your “batteries” so you can go on with the rushing life and don’t get tired, with the thought of the cozy switched off time you’ll have after a long stressful day.

Autumn touches 🍁

I feel like I haven’t written light inspirational blogs for decades, and I really missed it.

As you may or may nor know, I’m obsessed with nature, with beautiful sceneries, changing season etc. And when it comes to autumn, especially October, which btw is the most favorite season of mine, my obsession may be a little bit too much. My room looks like a gallery of autumn, and so does my IG page. I stare for minutes at every beautiful tree and talk about it forever. This whole month is like a big holiday for me, when I’m excited about everything going on around. I know that most of the people don’t like fall, because of cold and dark days, “autumn depression”, schools/unis, exams and so on… And I want to change it somehow, and like an advocate show you all the reasons why you should love autumn too. So let’s go 🍂

1.The nature<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
e a whole blog or two to this topic. I know that life is busy, but just stop for a moment and look around and start to admire the masterpiece you see. Everything is so wonderful in autumn, every tree with its unique bright colors, the falling and crunchy leaves, the weather with rainstorms and wind, the crispy air in the mornings. I wouldn’t change a tree to anything created by humans, cause nothing can compare to what God created. Just look yourselves.

< img src=”https://annmary0723.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/snapseed-14.jpg&#8221; height=”2448″ class=”wp-image-286″ width=”3264″>< img src=”https://annmary0723.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/snapseed-15.jpg&#8221; height=”2448″ class=”wp-image-287″ width=”2448″>< strong>

2. Sweater weather and more<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
er clothing than warm knitted sweaters. Or big bright scarves. And what’s the best time to wear them? I know you can wear them in winter too, but I am now praising fall, so forget about it.


3. Cozy rainy day.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
verts and me ofc. Imagine, the rain dropping on your window, you are cuddling in a blanket, with a tea or coffee, and a book or movie. Or just staring out of the window, looking on the world like a stranger and enjoying your time. Nothing could be better and more beneficial than staying with yourself, with your thoughts, relaxing and just doing what you like.

4. Halloween

Last but definitely not the least. The time to be in the spooky and mysterious mood, eat lots of junk food, watch the same old magical movies and host Jack o Lantern in your room for almost 2 weeks. As a strong believer in all the supernatural stuff, I always wait for sth mysterious to happen. And I always seek to see sth magical in this mortal world, to try to bring the mystery to the normal life🎃

There are much more reasons to love autumn, but these are the main ones for me. As soon as you start paying attention to all the little but magnificent things that surround you, you will start to see more and more positive and beautiful things in your life. You will enjoy all the lovely and warm autumn touches, and your daily ordinary life will be as bright as all the trees during fall. 💛🍁

Square Minds ▪️▫️

Do you know what square is? No, not the one in maths or the central part of the city. It is a whole phenomenon, which my mom, and now me too love to call the squares, or square minds. It is when people lock themselves in the tiny squares, with only four walls and angles and live inside of them. When they don’t want to try or do sth new, sth they haven’t done before, whether it’s a new dish to try or new place to go, whatever. These squares are everywhere, in their mentality, worldview, way of life. These are all the prejudices or persuasions or beliefs that we have. The problem is that not everyone understands that he lives in a small blocked room. I have these squares too. I had lots of them, but now I’m trying to get rid of them because they do nothing but hurt you or your lives. In one big square there are plenty other ones, smaller ones. And each of them has a list of must-s and rules, what to do, what to say, how to act etc. It’s like a to-do list for our lives, what to do before we die. And the sad part is that we don’t write the things we really want to do, but what the society and the life wants us to do. Kinder-garden, school, university ( even if you still haven’t decided what you want to study, who cares, you finished school and you have to go the next level), then high grades( even if you learn nothing), engagement, marriage ( even if you don’t want do, but you’re already dating for a year, so it’s a shame not to marry), a ‘good’ job ( work work work like an office rat from 9-7 ), then children, grandchildren and then oops, you die. Great isn’t it? I know that most of the people won’t understand me. I don’t mean that you must not do everything written above. You just have to do it right, to choose what you really want to do, and live the life you want. And whenever someone’s trying to get out of this system, everybody treat them like a madman. Like wow, there’s a creepy person who doesn’t want to marry or work or go to the same path as the others. Kill him! I don’t want to sound like an old grandma, but what is wrong with this generation? You look at the teenagers, young boys and girls, and you don’t see the life inside of them, you don’t see the flickering light of life. Seems like the dementors suck everything out of them, and now there are just robotized vessels walking around. You see plenty of selfies with fake smiles, and when you close the smile with your hand and look at the eyes, you can only see emptiness or sadness. You see grown up students cry because of a bad grade, which actually isn’t that bad, it’s just not the highest one. There are so many things that I notice every day and every time I still get a little shocked. And I always wonder am I the strange one, or the others? When life is outside the windows of the classroom, and instead of going out, feeling the sunshine on you, walking and having fun chats with your friends, you want to sit in the classroom until the very last minute and show the teacher that you’re the best, is it normal? I am always in the mood of “must be living in a wrong generation”. I want to go outside or even stay at home but I want to do what makes me feel really happy. I want to enjoy every single thing, or moment. To rejoice every season, every holiday, every meeting with friends. I want to break free from the square and to make great memories every day. To learn and explore and try something new and interesting. There are so many things that we don’t know about. I don’t want to find one job and stick to it forever. I want to learn different things. I don’t want anything materialistic to define me as a happy or unhappy person. And I want the same for everybody else. I want them to understand the absurd of this limited life, or to realize that besides these squares there is a big whole world, that we need to discover. But I think this is already from a fantasy genre…

P.s. To clear everything up- I don’t want to say that I am here the perfect one without any flaws, or that I am the best and everyone else suck, no. I also have plenty of squares, and I do mistakes and maybe I really am the madman or that creepy person…I just want to write down my thoughts, again with the purpose of self-observation, or just the observation of people and life in general. And I want to inspire at least someone to change their lives and live happily ever after.