Mischief Managed โšก๏ธ

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good “

These lines, this story, my life.  People used to tell me that this is just a phase, and it will go away. They can’t even realise how wrong they were.  For all the mugles, who will read this and be confused, I’ll explain. I’n talkin now about Harry Potter, aka a part of my life. Why I suddenly felt inspired of it, is because I haven’t watched all the movies for almost two years. Can you imagine it Carl? Two years! It’s like if a normal person wouldn’t sleep for like two days, that’s what it means to me. I just re-watched the third part of the franchise, and that’s why I feel so inspired now. 

You know the feeling when you watched a movie, for example three years ago, and then, when you re-watch it, you remember that period of your life? When I watch Harry Potter, I can remember my whole life, without any exaggerations. I can remember the first time I watched this third movie, when I just bought the cassette tape with it, imagine now, how old is this memory. I can remember me watching the movie in my first grade, second grade, and so on, until now. What I mean, is it wasn’t just a phase. It was a great part of my childhood, teenage years, of my life. It was never just an interest, that I’d read and watch and then forget.

A lot of people wonder why it is so important for me. I don’t think I can give a satisfying explanation but I can try. I grew up with Harry. He grew up with me. I was there for him in his difficult times, and vice versa. When I had problems, difficulties, I always remembered that I wasn’t alone. This story, and Hogwarts was like a home for me,  a shelter, where I could hide from everythin, where I felt myself good and safe. Hogwarts is more close to me, than my real school ever was. When I think of it, I imagine a very cozy, warm and happy place, where I can always find help and peace. Being an extraordinary and creative child, it was always hard live in a normal and boring world. So the imaginary world of HP always helped me get through this life. I always cried and rejoiced for everything in that story, and I know that it’s kinda stupid, but I always felt like the story did the same for me. And nothing has ever changed until now. 

The music is a whole other topic to talk about. I love to listen to the soundtracks of the movies, they are too damn perfect. I once wrote that, while listening to these songs, I don’t want to breathe, because I am afraid that I can lose the music that is inside me. I can’t describe the feeling that I have when listening to this music. It’s goosebumps all over my body, butterflies in my stomach, and a hard but at the same time an amazing feeling in my heart. I don’t just listen to the songs. I live with and by them. Especially in rainy gloomy  weather, when I can feel more like in HP world. The dark sky and lush green trees and the croak of ravens remind me so much of Hogwarts, and it is the best combination for me.

I really hope that nobody will take me to a mental hospital after all this weird stuff that I wrote. I just haven’t felt so good and inspired for a very long while. I’m just forever thankful to HP for breaking into my life and changing it forever, changing me forever. I am absolutely sure that I wouldn’t be the same person as I am now without it. And I’m always grateful for that. 

Advertisements

Gothic Vienna ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น

How fast time flies. It feels like it was yesterday, that I was living my dream in Vienna, and now I’m back  home, left with memories and photos only. So, I’d like to summarize my little holiday week in a blog with all my impressions and photos.

I want to start by saying that it was a city of gloomy weather. And not because I love that weather. It just felt right when it was cloudy, and incomplete when sun was shining. All the buildings were in different colors with red or dark brown roofs, and their brightness was more definite when it was cloudy. And also everything was built in my lovely gothic style, so the gloomy sky made it more mysterious. Especially in evenings, when I was walking in parks or around churches, and there were not so many people, I truly felt myself like in  Tim Burton’s movies, which was one the best feelings I could have. 

Though the buildings were in different colors, the whole city was united and in a harmony, something that I hadn’t seen in a while. You walk in streets, and you can feel that everything is in its place, there is no unnecessary redundancy. It became more obvious, when we went to the top of the tower of a church, and saw the panorama of the city. Oh my God, I can still see that in my head, the most beautiful thing I’ve seen, except for sea. It was like a little victory, a sense of achievement that I will never forget.  You could see not only the beauty, but also the harmony and calmness of the city. And I couldn’t imagine that this all was created by humans, because it was heavenly beautiful. And I am using the word heavenly, a word that I used before only for describing nature, so, imagine how good it was.

I loved that city. Have I already said it? Well, yes, but I don’t care, I loved it. You know the feeling, that you don’t belong to the place where you live? You are like a white crow of the society, everywhere you go, you feel odd. It’s not that I am bad and the others good or vice versa. It’s just not your place, not your culture, people or even climate. When you feel  that the place where you live is kind of toxic for you, and not because it’s bad. It can be the most beautiful and cool city in the world, but still it’s not yours. So that’s me, the story of my life. Just in a week I felt that it was my motherland, I looked at people, strangers, and they felt like, I don’t know, relatives, or close people to me. As I believe in reincarnation, I truly think that I was living there. Maybe not in  Vienna exactly, but in an old germanic country and culture. And my soul still desires for that city, it still feels comfortable and good there. And my main goal became clear, to live where my heart wants to be, and where I feel myself happy and free as a bird. 

So back to Vienna. The seven days felt both as an infinity and as a split second, which still is a weird thing for me. And I’ll give this city 10/10, because of all the things mentioned above. And also, you can’t consider your own spiritual motherland as a bad place, that is less than 10/10, can you? โฃ๏ธ

The end of an era…

After a long deep conversation you feel like you need to write down everything you were just saying, because, though the conversation is over, the words are still speaking in your mind. 

Everything changes. I know I said it too much, but that’s the true. Every era ends, no matter whether it is a bad and sad era, or a good and happy one. And it just hurts, when you live your life now, you see some people and speak to them, laugh with them, but you know, that one day, these all will only be a memory. And even if that one day will come in 5 or 10 years, it still hurts to know that everything comes to its end. You are young now, you enjoy your life, have fun with your friends, but one day, you will be someone’s wife, someone’s mother, and the same will be with your friends. I am not saying that it is bad to be married, I’m bringing this as an example. You will not be same, and no one will. You can’t just sit and talk with your friends for hours like you used to do, when you become a mother, for example. You’ll have another interests or problems to think about. 

Or sometimes people just leave, and even if it’s for your own sake, there are times, that you miss the period of your life, when you spend your every day with that person. You don’t want that person to be in your life again, but you still think about your adventures together. Sometimes you miss the memories and not the person. And it’s true, it always is. A  person can still be in your life, you can still see them every now and then, but your connection or relationship is not the same, because you have changed, and because that person has chaned, and it doesn’t matter wherher you changed for good or bad, you are a different person now. I know that this is not a discovery, it is a true fact, that you always know. But it’s different to know and to realize. As Sherlock would say, “you see, but you don’t observe”. I always knew all these things, now that I am saying, but now it is a time for me to feel this, to feel the pain of the paradox of life. When you get comfortable in a place, with some people, the circumstances change, and you have to get used to something again, and that circle goes unbroken. Of course, I know, that everything has a reason, that everything happens for us to learn sth new, to develop our mind and soul, to go on another, higher spiritual level of life, but still, the truth hurts sometimes. 

All I wanted to say, is that, this will end either way, so it’s our decision, whether to enjoy this very moment completely, with our hearts and souls, or to think about past or worry about the future, loosing our life to live. It’s our choice to end up with memories or regrets. 

I don’t want to leave out my life. And  sometimes I write all this stuff not to inspire others, but to inspire myself, to see my thoughts or worries  in a formed way, to have the right motivation to live. Because, who am I kidding, we are all  more or less egoistic, and the first person we think of, is ourselves. Which isn’t that bad in reality, but this is a whole other story. ๐Ÿ”š

Where’s the world I used to live in? ๐ŸŒ

Today was one of my nostalgic days, looking through the old photos and remembering everything. And I discovered for myself a very important thing. This world isn’t the same anymore. Primitive? Yeah, everyone says that, but I don’t think everyone really gets that. People used to be so much happier, brighter and lighter (in both senses of the word) than they are now. People knew how to live, how to have fun. When I was a child, there weren’t such luxurious cars and houses and phones and so on, everything was simple, and poorer, but it seems like people didn’t care about that. When it snowed, for example, nobody was complaining that much. They didn’t think about the inconvenience or  dirt, everyone was going outside and playing, and I am not talking about the kids only. I am talking about the same adults that now behave themselves like Scrooges. And people were less careless, but much simpler and kinder. Everyone’s houses were almost the same, little, old, but really warm and cozy, because you could feel the spirit of the home, and not just a house where people just eat and sleep. I look through the pictures of birthdays, New Years, or just gatherings, and I see the sincere joy, how people enjoyed their time, sitting and talking about stuff, dancing or playing sth. Now everything is compulsory. To go to someone’s birthday not because you want to, but because you have to, it’s not polite and rude and bla bla bla. Because people forgot what it means to have real fun. Because whenever you try to make a conversation it usually begins with complaining and negativity. People are becoming robots, machines, that have some functions in their frames and they must do them. 

I really miss that times, and I really pity the fact, that we can’t turn time back and have now what we had before. And I’m looking through the photos…2000, 2003, 2006, 2008, 2010 and so on.. Everything is becoming newer, more beautiful, more luxurious, the houses the streets the cars. And in the contrary, people are becoming sadder more depressed and you can totally see that on their faces, the unhappy faces, like they have the world’s problem. And that’s the thing. That’s what I understood. People and their lives are getting richer, while the persons and their souls are getting poorer. And the worst part is that it is unalterable. Even if you try to live, let’s say, out of this material world, it will not change the whole world. 

And every time I am getting more sure that happiness is not money. It’s not wealth, it’s not the new iphone 7, which, in fact is almost the same damn thing as iphone 6. And if someone “is the happiest person in this world” because he/she got the new iphone, or a car for example,  I am really sorry for that person because he/she doesn’t know what is real happiness. Of course it’s great to get happy for everything, even for a chocolate for instance, but you can’t connect your happiness with materialistic stuff. It feels like I am repeating the same thing over and over again, but that’s what’s going on in my head now, and I think I could write volumes on this subject. 

Happiness is so simple. It’s inside us, inside every single one of us. And it’s the highest level of absurd   trying to find it somewhere else, connect it with someone or something, while in reality it lives in our souls. I really hope that everyone would understand that and stop the process of robotization, just thinking about money, how to get it, how to keep it, how not to lose it. You will not have money when you die, but you’ll have your souls. Don’t let them die before your bodies do. 

P.S. when I say everything or everyone I don’t literally mean it, I am really happy that there are still many exceptions. It’s just easier to speak with generalization.

Too much of Rome ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น

Rome, the city of love…pff, who am I kidding, the city of pizza, of course, I would eat it every single day. #pizzaislife ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ•

So what was I speaking about? Yeah right, Rome. The beautiful city with positive and warm aura. With the sky so bright, and the streets and building so artistics, that not every picture or sculpture can replace it. I was like a building-maniac, taking pictures of every building I see, because they were all so damn beautiful. I got very envious of peope who live there and get to see all that every day. And everything was filled with so much positive and great energy that you never felt tired, even after walking 15km per day. You could feel the soul, the spirit of the country, and it is true that the dwellers represent their country, their culture. Just like italians, their city is really joyful and, I don’t know how to say that, alive maybe? That’s the thing I love about this kind of cities. You don’t have to go to the museums and galleries to get acquainted with their history and culture and art. I really don’t like museums, for me they are almost all like, ‘here’s a piece of stone, which the king someone saw lying on the ground, on his way home and bla bla bla.’ I can see that very stone or the tools they were using online. But in the cities I walk not like a tourist, but as an inhabitant of that very city, trying to feel myself a part of it and just see the beauty of everything. This is what I call acquaintance with culture or country. The buildings, the streets, the ruins, people and their spirit represent the country with its everything.

One thing I didn’t like was the huge amount of tourists, who were, I think intentionally, standing in the places, where I wanted to take a pic, or just wanted to see something. Annoying mortals, didn’t let me enjoy the view of the city completely. Yes, I am obsessed with cities and nature and building and animals, and everything but people, I don’t love them, sorry not sorry. 

Anyway, instead of spamming the IG, I decided to upload some photos here. I know it’s too much, but there is still a video coming, so haha 












https://youtu.be/MDDDZWkAcMk

Christmas Throwback ๐ŸŽ„

The 19th Christmas of my life. The last one of my teenage years. How fast time flies. It feels like yesterday, when I was getting ready for the previous Christmas. I started remembering all decembers, all New Years that I have had, and I wanted to share my nostalgic mood โ„๏ธ

Christmas and New Year were always my favorite holidays, I loved them even more than my birthday. I really loved looking how the city got decorated with all the lights and christmas trees. I loved watching the same movies like Home alone and I never got tired of them. I always loved decorating the house, I always had some ideas of decorations, which I thought were really cool, but now, as I look over the old photos, I really laugh at myself and my decorating skills as I was a child. Writing a letter to Santa Claus, and than waiting for him to appear. Spying on my parents, trying to see whether they put the Santa’s presnet under the tree or not.Getting something that I wanted for a long time was one of my favorite things. But in reality, it wasn’t about the presents.I loved them, of course, but it’s not what I remember now, what I got. I remember how I was searching in the house for my presents, when my parents weren’t home, but even after finding them, I never opened them, because it would ruin the excitement. I remember ‘stealing’ my mother’s make-up, and re-presenting her her own lipstick, for instance, how clever I was. And I always made cards, which made my parents really happy. I remember the smell of burned candles, of citruses and fake snow. How we always create some games to play with our guests, and our home-parties were the best ones. How we always dressed up something funny, and dance and sing. And how we play snowballs and made a snowman not only with children, but also with adults, who, btw, enjoyed playing more than us. I am very lucky to have such amazing memories, because in the end all we really have is memories, so we should try to live the perfect life, to have then the perfect memories. A lot has changed since I was a child. Now we don’t play games with our guests anymore, or dress up, because everybody seems to be tired with these holidays and everything. People make Christmas only about eating and presents. They don’t enjoy the spirit of the holiday, which makes me really sad. When I was a child, we didn’t have everything that we have now. Nobody did. There were a lot of things that were hard to find and to buy, but still, the holidays of that times were real, were merry, and bright. I am really glad that my family still enjoys  Christmas and has some traditions or habits connected with it. One thing that hasn’t changed for me, is the fact that I still love and enjoy and believe in Christmas as I did as a child. And it’s not about Christmas only, it is the attitude towards life. How we picture everything, the same way we get it. 

And I don’t know how, but memories make me both happy and sad at the same time, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be (I feel you, Charlie). But I still smile whenever I remember something, which I think is a good sign. Never let your inner child die. Rejoice everything good, and all the bad things will not be so important anymore. 

And it’s still too early to write Merry Christmas, isn’t it? ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป

The Spirit of the Season โ„๏ธ

๐ŸŽง It’s the spirit of the season, you can feel it in the air, you can hear it if you listen ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽ„

Currently listening to this song over and over again. It’s Christmas time already yaay โค๏ธ Couldn’t be more excited, counting the days and fulfilling my Winter to-do list. One of the things that I love, is how sometimes I manage to infect or inspire people about something that I really love, either movie, tv-show, season or holiday,or  whatever. Having good mood and motivation and sharing it increases your mood and motivation, because you know you helped someone to feel better even for a moment. It’s one of the things that we all should do anytime but especially on Christmas. So I’d like to write some stuff that I enjoy doing at this time. I really hope that I’ll make anyone love Christmas a little more. And sorry for using the word ‘Christmas’ too much, I just can’t help doing it.


Making this moment infinite, as my old friend Charlie would say. Taking photos or even videos, writing what you think at this time, maybe adding some songs that you are listening now. Make this moment live forever and be a great story to tell later in life.

Spread the Christmas cheer. Only you can decide whether you want to ‘bah hambug’ everyone and everything or rejoice in this magical time.Don’t be a Grinch or Scrooge. Decorate your place, listen, read and watch Christmas songs, stories and movies respectively. Bake holiday cookies, make hot chocolate, go outside, play snowballs, do something handmade. Create your own bucket list and try to do everything you wrote.


Forget about every negative thing that surround you all year round. Problems and exams and other bullshit get your energy all the time, so this is the perfect time to create the new-me, reorganizing all our thoughts wishes and aims, balancing our life and energy and feeling our inner self, realizing who we really are and what we want in this life. All the lights and candles and snow, that covers everything and creates kind of a new world, will always help you. 

Be Thankful ๐ŸŒž

Happiness is appreciation of everything that you have”. There are many understandings of happiness, this one is my personal opinion about it. You can’t be happy if you aren’t thankful for what you have, and you concentrate on what you don’t. We should appreciate everything that we have in our lives, even if that everything is not enought according to our dreams. We have the opportunity to wake up everyday, to see things, experience, try new things even if they end up being a failure. We have  family, friends, food to eat, water to drink, and last but definitely not least, a life to live. With all its difficulties,  bad experiences, embarrassing moments life is beautiful and worths to live. To wake up everyday, knowing that you can change your life, that you have another day to do something important or something that you fancy. And yes, these are the things to be grateful for. When we compare ourselves with others, we always see our disadvantages and see what others have and we don’t. And when, for example, you tell someone that at least he or she has home, food and water compared to so many people in Africa, who dream about a full cup of water, the person always laughs and says that these situations are incomparable, which is wrong. We should see how the fate could turn to us, but it didn’t and be grateful for that. What I am saying is that even if we have problems, don’t have some things that we would like to have, we still should be grateful. As they say, positive attracts more positive, and if we start thinking positively about what we have, we will get what we want. And from there comes happiness. 

The Positive Side โ˜ฏ๏ธ

Do you ever have a feeling that everything just goes wrong? Like you just woke up and from that very minute the whole world is against you. Everyone has such days, and we always get nervous because of the events goind wrong. I get angry too in such situations but I keep trying to see the positive sides of everything. And it usually works, maybe not at once, but at least at the end of a ‘wrong day’ I look back with less anger at what happened. I don’t talk about something particular now, it can be anything. For example, you get sick on your exam days and have to  retake them all alone, you have to take some responsibilities of your life, or do something that you’ve never done before. In such cases I think we should just face our problems or fears and overcome them, because it is life or God that gives us these lessons that we should learn, and the more we run away from them, the more complicated they become for us. And once we just stand up and do what we always feared to do, it becomes less awful and scary and we become stronger and more mature and it feels like we grow up more in that couple of days or hours than we did in a whole year.

But when the ‘wrong situations’ are some circumstances that we can’t change, for example the awful weather, or change of plans, traffic, or something else, we just should be calm about that. Of course they are unpleasant situations but if we can’t change them, why should we get nervous about them? I mean, people always say, if you can’t change the situation( God, I use this word way too much), change your attitude towards it and it is true. Let the events take place as they should, because everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t know it. Everything goes as it should, and we don’t have the power to interact on God’s decisions. And besides everything has its good sides. And maybe snow on the first of November is bad and inconvenient, the roads are closed, it gets really cold, but also it is beautiful. Of course it would be better if it doesn’t snow until Christmas, for instance, but it is what it is, we can’t change it right, so we should enjoy it. The little miracle that snow makes, especially at night, when the lights of the lamp posts  reflect on the snow and sparkle. It really reminds me of Narnia and Mr Tumnus โ„๏ธโœจ 


So what I was saying is that we shouldn’t be so dramatic about everything bad that happens in our lives. We should accept it and try to stay cool because the only person we hurt by our anger or nervousness is us. Life is a really beautiful and great thing, we should live it, not survive.